I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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