Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
