I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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