the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
