Soap is not a condiment
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
