I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
