Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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