i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i now understand why vodka
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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