okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
