I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
