There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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