I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I want to fling myself into the sun
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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