she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize