Pants 0. Shit 1.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
