apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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