If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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