Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
