I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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