did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
