How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
