either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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