So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
