i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize