I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
