i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
