you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your penis caused this!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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