I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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