I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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