I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
