Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
