i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
