I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize