this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
