why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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