i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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