He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
