the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
