nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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