is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
