carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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