I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
