You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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