wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How do u even exfoliate your vagina