Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.

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  (805): Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer. http://tfl.nu/1b8s
  Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (485)
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  (415): View more from California

  fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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  (415): fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/i9c0
  Replies (22) Good night (3302) Bad night (735)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.

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  (818): I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head. http://tfl.nu/x66l
  Replies (20) Good night (7786) Bad night (1196)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.

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  (917): I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud. http://tfl.nu/cvat
  Replies (15) Good night (5822) Bad night (1036)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.

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  (901): My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary. http://tfl.nu/r2s3
  Replies (9) Good night (5198) Bad night (924)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.

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  (651): You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME. http://tfl.nu/uum6
  Replies (4) Good night (2014) Bad night (1099)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now

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  (386): Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now http://tfl.nu/ahzl
  Replies (1) Good night (1360) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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  (575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db
  Replies (9) Good night (2251) Bad night (752)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

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  (845): Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good. http://tfl.nu/x11e
  Replies (0) Good night (1087) Bad night (554)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.

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  (813): The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us. http://tfl.nu/d109
  Replies (3) Good night (1256) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

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  (804): Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body! http://tfl.nu/7w2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1156) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.

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  (330): You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes. http://tfl.nu/v1u1
  Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (353)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.

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  (321): Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed. http://tfl.nu/dayu
  Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (298)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.

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  (570): You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys. http://tfl.nu/l3j3
  Replies (5) Good night (517) Bad night (520)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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  (403): I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room http://tfl.nu/v5e3
  Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (472)

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