Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals

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  (206): Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals http://tfl.nu/cfxk
  Replies (12) Good night (1371) Bad night (602)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.

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  (651): i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen. http://tfl.nu/ur6p
  Replies (28) Good night (8777) Bad night (736)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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  (609): Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/lzo0
  Replies (21) Good night (5563) Bad night (694)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

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  (303): Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever. http://tfl.nu/ckan
  Replies (11) Good night (1512) Bad night (6560)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.

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  (717): dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high. http://tfl.nu/gyij
  Replies (20) Good night (6101) Bad night (1330)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life

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  (774): So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life http://tfl.nu/2cua
  Replies (27) Good night (6752) Bad night (1286)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.

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  (631): She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom. http://tfl.nu/uq6s
  Replies (22) Good night (6715) Bad night (1245)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

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  (352): This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode http://tfl.nu/n1t3
  Replies (10) Good night (3656) Bad night (997)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is

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  (814): I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is http://tfl.nu/5aqp
  Replies (7) Good night (2996) Bad night (682)
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  (805): View more from California

  I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka

  (714): View more from California

  I could

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  (805): I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka (714): I could http://tfl.nu/hbcr
  Replies (7) Good night (1059) Bad night (445)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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  (314): Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays http://tfl.nu/dq5p
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (395)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hamster emergency. Can u come in here

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  (330): Hamster emergency. Can u come in here http://tfl.nu/n98l
  Replies (8) Good night (452) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this

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  (774): It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this http://tfl.nu/0f23
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (780)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?

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  (212): Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows? http://tfl.nu/t64o
  Replies (8) Good night (590) Bad night (286)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle

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  (732): He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle http://tfl.nu/wavz
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (171)

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