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summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Randomize
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