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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?

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• (619): View more from California

  It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (361): View more from Texas

  After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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• (310): View more from California

  I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Our relationship needs a sober moment

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  I'll call you when that happens

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?

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