i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You left your phone here
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