Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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