Pappa wants mamma naked
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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