he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
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