My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
