i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
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