So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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