She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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