I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
