Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
