its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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