I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
