Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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