And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
