You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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