the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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