dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
