Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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