She's JV to your varsity
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
