So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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