I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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