What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
